London

Grey, wet, cold, busy, smoky, unfriendly, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful London! I've never loved this city as much as i do right now. Restaurants from every corner of the earth with all their menus written in English. Public transport that more or less functions despite being packed in like a sardine. Cab drivers who know exactly where you are going, even when you don't. Beautifully spaced out queues of people. Cool, fresh weather - not a drop of sweat in sight. They have a thing called pavements here, which are these areas on the side of roads where no cars, motorbikes, trucks,  horses, donkeys or cows can travel along making it safe for the humble pedestrian to go about their business - it's bloody genius!
And don't even get me started on the delights packed into my beautiful, beautiful flat. Double beds with the softest mattresses, clean linen, rooms with as many power sockets as you could ever possibly want... Wardrobes. Oh, a whole wardrobe full of wonderful, wonderful things. Heels, belts, bags, jeans, dresses. A dressing table with make up, perfume, moisturisers, hairbrushes, hair dryers. Oh my god, it's like my own personal beauty salon... A bathtub. a real life, clean, white, bathtub stocked with shower gels, soaps, shampoos and conditioner - I don't think I've ever been this clean in my life. I smell like fresh flowers and my skin feels like a dolphin's. I put on real clothes, high heels, make up and I even brushed my hair and when I looked in the mirror I felt like one of those women off a Trinny and Susannah makeover show. It almost brought me to tears. I've been reunited with my music collection. I will never listen to Whitney or the Bee Gees again. Best of all though are the toilets! Gleaming porcelain beauties with seats, flushes, tissue paper, soap, running water. Now I understand why they call it a throne, I could sit on that fresh smelling thing all day... I mean just look at this before and after shot:

Yes, that's right. Squat toilets with no doors. I mean seriously Beijing, are we animals?!

There's also this thing called a kitchen in here and it has everything you possibly need to turn raw stuff into food.. Look at how I transformed these eggs and bread into breakfast:

A miracle! And not a noodle or a grain of rice in sight. Joy of joys!

In all seriousness though, I'm surprisingly happy to be back. I'll try really hard to not write a million soppy cliches but there's no other real way to describe this than as a sort of rebirth. Everything seems new and exciting and I can appreciate things that I would never have thought twice about before. I am relaxed and happy and the best part about it is that I have 1001 incredible memories that will last me a lifetime. There aren't really any words to describe the past 6 months. I've been dreaming about them since I was a teenager and they have lived up to and far surpassed any expectations that I may have had. People ask me what my favourite places were and I usually give them the easy answer which goes something like: "Bolivia and Laos. China and Malaysia were amazing - all of it really except India which I didn't massively enjoy" but really it isn't that straight forward. It's not so much the places that you visit that makes a trip it's the experiences you have there. My favourite places actually are the tops of mountains, the bottom of oceans, the middle of jungles, the beginnings of friendships... Rooftop bars with glasses of champagne, greasy little backstreet restaurants, beach bars with fire breathers, trains and buses with multiple landscapes flickering through their windows, nightclubs at 4am ... my house packed with great friends, my lovely soft bed (not packed with great friends). I could rabbit on and on but I've already blogged about it all so if you've read it you already know what my highlights are. Even India which may not have given me the greatest experiences taught me something about myself and something about the world, so whilst I am not in a rush to go back there, I am actually happy that I went.

Anyway, I want to thank you all for reading my rambles about my rambles. I'm heading home to Gibraltar on Wednesday so I think I can manage one last post in honour of my beautiful home town but other than that, my everyday life is sadly just not all that exciting so if I don't think of something else to write about, Kate will no longer post. What I will say to those folks who go on about how jealous they are is to stop being jealous. I didn't win the lottery or get some magical travel invite, I just saved up some cash, quit my job and booked a flight. Seriously, it's that easy. Obviously if you have financial commitments or a family please don't go and bankrupt yourself or give your children abandonment issues - make do with a week off here and there. But if you can do it and you want to do it, just go and bloody well do it! Please!

PS. Errr... Anyone out there want to employ me? I'm kinda broke... :D

Kerala

I've just discovered that I can write around my photos... Would've been far more useful to know that 3 months ago! 

I'm pretty sure I've said everything about India that I needed to say but for the sake of completeness here is our final leg:

After Mysore we headed to the relatively lovely and civilised town of Kochi. On our first night we went to watch Kathakali which is typical South Indian theatre dating back as far as the 17th century... Now, I can see how 5 hours of men skipping around in heavy make up and large skirts may have been entertaining back in the days before electricity, but we sat through a shortened 1 hour version I think we were more bemused than anything else!  Although it wasnt really my cup of tea, I do have to give credit to the commitment and talent of those involved - it takes 5 years to train as a Kathakali performer and it is clearly a highly skilled art; every eye movement, face movement and arm movement has a meaning and tells a story without the use of words . The make-up takes one hour to apply and transforms ordinary men into mystical heroes and demons in an impressively striking way. They then dance around each other to the (rather irritating) sounds of drums and cymbals gesturing and rolling their eyes like possessed folk but to be honest if we didn't have a piece of paper explaining the story to us I'd have been completely bewildered and clueless as to the meaning of all that expended energy!

The next day we signed up for a boat tour of the backwaters - Cata had a go at punting around in our eco-friendly boat and turned out to be quite the pro. We stopped off to see a couple of local businesses - one that made lime powder out of clam shells, another made rope out of coconut husks and finally a spice plantation. For lunch we were invited to eat at an Indian wedding where we were gawked at by the guests and served a beautiful tasting typical South Indian meal.

Our next stop took us to the beautiful rolling tea plantations of Munnar which are so serene and calm that we felt as though we'd left India entirely which was just fine by us! Finally, a 5 hour train ride took us to Kovalam beach in the South of Kerala where we rested our bones even further, spent our final rupees on a few souvenirs and flew out of India like bats out of hell...

A short and boring post but I am SO relaxed right now that that's all the India revisiting that I can muster! 

Hampi and Mysore

I think I owe India a bit of an apology... OK, so she and I don't see eye to eye, but perhaps I was a little too harsh. I feel a bit guilty, like I've scolded a child who didn't really know any better. It's not India's fault that I'm used to pavements and beef steaks, that I've been taught that burping in public is uncouth, it's not her fault that that I'm used to the polished surface of the West where a lot of the ugliness is swept into pipes, piled into dumps or hidden behind closed doors... So India, I am sorry for being so harsh; this will clearly never be a love affair but there is no reason we should end this brief encounter on a sour note. You've showed me some ugly realities and made me discover some of my limits so thank you for your honesty. 

What I realised today is that the reason India is so shocking is that ALL of it is on display whether you like it or not.  The good, the bad and the ugly is all in your face, all of the time and there is nowhere for you or it to hide. If you spend the right amount of money, there is a way to enjoy only the good of India and I'm sure it's a grand experience but I don't think it would feel right. So I can't on one hand complain about the dirt and noise and squalor and then on the other hand say I wouldn't want to travel in a way that would make this comfortable and enjoyable for me... There's a side of India that I'm sure I would love but it wouldn't feel real. As tourists I guess it's difficult to ever really experience anything that isn't sugar coated so now that I'm feeling less stressed and more reflective I can appreciate something positive within the chaos. Anyway, back to the travelling....

Hampi in Karnataka blew me away with its stunning landscapes worthy of a Disney film - A beautiful river winding round giant golden boulders broken up by palm trees and banana plantations and decorated with beautiful ancient ruins. Sadly, in an attempt to preserve the beauty of the place, conservationists have managed to all but destroy the community that live there... What we arrived to was a shell of what was until very recently a bustling and lovely 

small town. As of next year there will be nothing modern left in Hampi Bazaar as the whole village is being demolished and  moved some 14kms away which seems a real shame. Thankfully the highlights of our visit there were things that will remain unscathed. There is a resident elephant in the temple called Lakshmi whose daily wash in the river we witnessed in the morning - once convinced that she was suitably clean we headed to the temple to be blessed by her (for ten rupees of course). In the evening we clambered up piles of boulders and broken steps with a Polish guy we had met who kindly acted as our guide. The trek to the top was rewarded with stunning views but our moment of zen was soon cut short when a pack of giant evil demon rabies monkeys from hell with giant teeth and glowing eyes came and made us back away after an epic battle which we fought like the bravest of warriors. OK, OK, some tiny fluffy monkeys growled at us and the three of us squealed and ran away... But the rabies part may have been true and that's reason enough to have been terrified! Eventually we found a primate-free spot and enjoyed a stunning and tranquil sunset.

The most uncomfortable night bus ever got us to Mysore in the early morning where we spent a good 2 hours wandering around with our backpacks looking for an inexpensive hotel that wasn't falling apart. Eventually a rickshaw driver helped us out and we agreed to go on a day tour with him as well. He took us to a couple of temples, and then dropped us off at a tiny little oil shop where we were overwhelmed with 100 different beautiful smells but chose to buy the black jasmine and the water lily - good for skin and as mosquito repellent respectively. He then semi-kidnapped us and took us to a bar to show us off to some of his friends who we had a bottle of wine with (the men drink whisky with water, the women drink wine mixed with coke which is surprisingly nice). Our last stop was the amazing Mysore Palace which was completed 100 years ago. Unfortunately photography was not allowed in the interior (I managed to sneak one in) but you'll have to trust me when I say it's the most beautiful residence I've ever stepped in. From golden gates, to statues of panthers, marble floors, colourful pillars, stained glass windows and ivory inlaid doors and corridors... So far South India is slowly managing to cover some ground in redeeming my opinion of the country.

Aurangabad and Goa

Turns out I slept quite well on that night train to Aurangabad, so having arrived well rested we headed straight to the caves of Ellora. They're called caves but in reality they are impressively ornate temples and houses carved right into cliff faces. Walls of rugged rock give way to intricate carvings of women, men, animals and Gods in surprisingly good condition considering they were built over 1000 years ago. Squint your eyes enough in the dim light and you also start to notice the remnants of elaborate paintings on the walls, pillars and ceilings long faded by the passing centuries. Trunkless elephants lead you up worn stairs with big breasted women and big bellied men awaiting your arrival surrounded by flora and fauna all carved right out of the rock face. Ajanta is a similar story but pre-dates Ellora by another 1000 years or so... Keeping in mind these sites took about 200 years each to carve out I guess a millennia is not all that much and although Ellora is more impressive (in my opinion) they do have a similar quality. To fail to be awestruck by something that was built 2000 years ago is a crime but the fact is that they would be impressive in their own right even if they had been built yesterday and it was well worth battling the intense heat to enjoy them.
After all the palaces and forts and temples we were bloody looking forward to hitting the beach so Goa had some high expectations to live up to that unfortunately weren't exactly met... We stayed in Anjuna which is a nice enough touristy beach town but the nicer beaches were a short rickshaw ride away. Our favourite beach was Vagator which was isolated enough to be relaxing but popular enough to have a good vibe... Now although the beaches were lovely, I have to say that I did get the impression that Goa is overrated - I would imagine it is because we were there at the end of the season but it could just be because I'm just feeling rather jaded now. My feelings for India had been teetering on the love/hate side of things since I got here but I am sad to have to confess that there has now been a total breakdown of our relationship due to irreconcilable differences. The proverbial camel's back is lying on the side of the road in a thousand splinters. The novelty factor of everything kept me going for awhile but the charm has now died a definitive death and all that's left is negativity. It's not that we haven't seen amazing things, or had any good moments - the history here is rich and beautiful as are some of the places we've been, but India's present is failing to inspire any sort of enlightenment in me... This is supposedly the cradle of spirituality but god knows I can't see it anywhere... Ghandi himself (though not the original source of this quote) said 'A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members' and nearly 3 weeks after standing next to the spot where he died I'm left wondering if he was the only Indian to have believed that. The lack of humanity here is shocking, the lack of hygiene is disgusting and the lack of beef is just plain driving me nuts! What on this great earth possessed me to think I might like a country where they don't eat cows is beyond me! The burping, the spitting, the coughing, the excrement on the road, the piles and piles and piles of rubbish everywhere, the lack of rules on the road, the constant badgering from people trying to extract money from you - it's enough to fray the most settled of nerves and I've lost all my good karma somewhere between the endless piles of shit from these herds of stray unedible cows. I'm afraid I might never recover!

I clearly must be missing something here because I've spoken to so many people who 'love' India and go on and on about how 'amazing' it is and it's a great shame that I just can't see it. I do apologise if this offends but it's just the plain truth as seen from my perspective... Seriously if you are sitting in an air-conditioned office right now, I won't go so far as to say I envy you but please, please take a moment to inhale the clean cool air, feel the padding in your chair hugging your arse, share some banter with a workmates - hell, tell them how nuts I've gone if you like - when you leave the office, have a nice strong cocktail with ice in it and eat yourself a huge juicy steak. Please, just do it for me.

On the plus side, the food here is genuinely lovely despite the lack of beef... That's about all the positivity I can muster right now! In the meantime if you happen to find the part of me that I lost (my mind, I think) please post it back to me asap.

Ranthambore and Agra

From Jaipur we headed to the dry jungles of Rajasthan to search for tigers in Ranthambore national park. About 20 tourists piled in to a giant canter jeep which bumped and trundled and tossed us along dirt tracks. the car sounded like the rumble of an earthquake and I was a a little sceptical that we'd see anything at all thundering through the wilderness like that. After about an hour of spotting birds, deer, crocodiles, lizards, mongeese and monkeys, our sore butts were rewarded with the sight of Shere Khan himself, taking a very public rest from the searing heat next to a lake. Apparently we were very lucky to spot a tiger on our first and only excursion - some people take up to 5 trips and don't see any of the 32 resident striped cats. The park is over 1000 years old and was originally the hunting ground the maharajas and wasn't opened to the public until 1970. As well as wild life you can also spot clues as to its former life with the odd palace, fort, temple or hunting pavilion scattered around.
The grand finale of our road trip was a visit to the city of Agra and a 5am wake up to see the Taj Mahal just after sun rise... My goodness do you see and read a lot about that darn building before you get there but I don't believe it diminishes the experience of stepping through those gates and seeing that glittering (literally -it is inlaid with semi-precious stones) white marble facade with your own eyes. The Taj Mahal was built by the emperor Shah Jahan for his 3rd wife, Mumtaz, who died giving birth to their 14th (!) child. It was originally intended to be a live-in palace which came to him in a dream. He told Mumtaz about the dream and described the palace that he would build for them but sadly she never survived to see work on the structure even begin and so it became her mausoleum instead - he is now also buried there with her.
I think of all that we have seen so far, what has actually left the most lasting impression on me has been the roads themselves. There is nothing quite like the circus that is India's road system with cars jostling for position amongst goofy camels, uninterested cows, proud horses, rabid dogs, scampering monkeys, wide-eyed goats, and brave, brave rickshaws, mopeds and cyclists. As well as all that there are scores of lorries heaving at the seams with all sorts of goods and urging you to 'blow horn' in ever more elaborate and colourful designs - turning highways into death defying high speed art galleries with their paintwork and their baubles. With horns as the only weapon on these crazy battlegrounds you can bet that they are used liberally and vigorously - I think the highway code here is about one sentence long and reads something like 'He with the loudest horn shall pass first.'.
We are now on a night train going south to Aurangabad and although I can't say I'm as entertained or as comfortable, I definitely do feel a lot safer!