Vang Vieng and Vientiane

I saw a poster advertising Laos as the 'Jewel of the Mekong' and I can see why. Laos is a beautiful country, rich with stunning scenery, and it really shines with the welcoming warmth of its lovely people. Sadly its history is as full of bulletholes as the rest of South East Asia's due to the Vietnam war which forced the people of Laos to retreat into jungles and caves as the full force of America's wrath was unleashed on the country. More bombs were dropped on Laos between 1964 and 1973 than were dropped throughout the whole of World War II earning it the unwanted label of the World's most bombed place per capita; around 30% of these bombs remain unexploded leaving a deadly legacy that still plagues the beautiful landscapes.

Vang Vieng is famous for its now almost extinct tubing party scene ... Basically this involved giving a bunch of backpackers rubber rings to float down the river in whilst giving them access to all sorts of drugs and alcohol as well as some zip lines and ropes to jump in the water with. Sounds great on paper, but after causing up to 40 tourist deaths per year the whole thing was promptly put to an end a couple of years ago at the request of the Australian government. Well, I say it sounds great - that depends what you are into. Personally I had an brilliant experience floating down this beautiful valley having drunk nothing but a beer which we bought at the beautiful home of some locals who literally fished us out of the water. The lack of party people was in my opinion a great improvement judging from my quick YouTube review of what it was like back in its 'prime' - I guess I'm just showing my age here though! Our float down the river wasn't completely uneventful however, after staring at a huge fluorescent sign telling me to 'STOP TUBING HERE' I somehow managed to miss the river bank completely and float right past helplessly waving at Cata who thought she'd have to come and collect me in Cambodia somewhere. A local man in a boat sailed right past me as I was frantically splashing about across the current and helpfully pointed out that I should have got off the river by now - yes, thank you, I'm fully aware actually. Had i been drunk I probably would have ended up somewhere in Cambodia but where I actually ended up was trying to clumsily clamber up a wooden platform with my leg above my head and a rubber ring around my waist before giving up on that failed strategy and finally managing to grab on to some grass and toss myself on to a muddy knoll much to the bemusement of an onlooker - such a  smooth sailor.  Thankfully there's no photographic evidence of the above so forget what you just read because it never actually happened...

While in Vang Vieng I was also reunited with a friend that I'd met in Borneo and his mate and had an awesome night out dancing the night away with good people at the local nightclubs. To shake off the hangover, we visited some more waterfalls and the beautiful blue lagoon which was good fun despite the incessant rain.

Drinking beer after being fished out of the river:

"Just a bunch of fffff*kin' mates,aye":

More waterfalls:

The blue lagoon:

Can someone explain to me exactly what this man thinks that these arm bands are going to achieve?:

Our last stop was Vientiane which I believe is the most relaxed capital city in the World. I had the most amazing traditional Laos massage which basically consisted of a woman attempting to squeeze the life out of me with her bare hands - painful yet very relaxing. Had another great night out with newfound friends which resulted in the need for this breakfast:

Yum. Kop chai lai lai Laos! It has been an absolute pleasure.