Hoi An, Mui Ne and Ho Chi Minh

Before we got to Vietnam we'd heard a few negative reviews about how it was dirty, busy and how the locals were unfriendly so I wasn't sure what to expect. I found the Vietnamese to be warm and helpful people. Ha Noi and Mue Ne were super relaxed towns and I didn't really experience any major issue with hygiene levels so I'm not sure if we were just lucky or if perhaps India just set a very, very, very ... very, very low benchmark? Either way, I thought Vietnam was a lovely country. Apart from the amazing food, Ha Noi was probably the highlight for me being a very beautiful and picturesque town with some great spots to eat and drink. While we were there we also did a 1 day diving trip to the Cham Islands - the diving wasn't quite what it has been in Malaysia or Indonesia but I still enjoyed it and the islands hid some stunning idyllic beaches (which would have been even nicer without the rain!).

Rolling on the river with our lovely guide, Mui who tried in vain to teach us to speak Vietnamese:

The Japanese covered bridge:

Selling candles to float down the river:

Hoi An by night:

Mui Ne is a beach town where we had time to relax and top up our fading tans, although I over did it somewhat and ended up more rouged than bronzed! Another day tour here took us to the fairy stream ... Which is really just a stream and to the red and white sand dunes ... which were really just sand dunes. Cata decided she'd rent a quad bike to zoom around the dunes on which I sat on screaming for all of 10 seconds... I hate the bloody things after a somewhat embarrassing experience in Greece involving bad steering, a giant bush and some attractive male witnesses (The worst kind of witness to any embarrassing incident).

Cocktails on the beach:

The fairy stream:

Sand dunes:

After all that relaxation we dived right back into the hustle and bustle of Ho Chi Minh -though I prefer to call it by its old name, Saigon because it easier and it sounds more exotic... As the capital of South Vietnam this was also the olace to learn about the Vietnam war. Travelling through South East Asia you get a feel for how the whole region suffered relatively recently during the war against communism, but it's only in Vietnam where you really get to see the deep impact that it caused and also insights into how the locals view the conflict. Plenty of shops sell old Vietnamese propaganda posters which although visually striking have pretty dark anti-American messages behind them. Messages such as 'What are you doing here? For whom are you dying?', '3000 enemy planes shot down' 'Nixon the murderer' respectively accompanying images of American soldiers, USAF war planes and the American president portrayed as a monster. There is definitely a sense that the war here was  not an conflict between the communists and the anti-communists but a war against the invading Americans. This theme continues into the rather one sided and harrowing war museum. Plenty of quotes from journalists and World organisations discrediting the inhumane actions of the US during the war hang on the walls alongside horrific pictures and accounts of the terrible war crimes that were committed. In any situation where man is 'legally' killing man atrocities are carried out and innocent people suffer and die, so in a war that spanned over 20 years you can imagine that there was plenty on show to be horrified by. Photographs of dead women and children, annihilated villages, the effects of chemical warfare which the people in South Vietnam suffer even now due to the prolonged effects of the previously untested Agent Orange, which can affect genes across several generations. Outside in the courtyard a collection of US military vehicles and weapons including tanks and fighter jets as well as a chinook helicopter gives you a real sense of what these people were ip against. Of course losses were suffered on both sides, the USA suffered 58,000 military deaths due to the war ... but in a death toll of up to 3 million more than half of those killed were Vietnamese civilians. Although the museum clearly gives a one sided view, with statistics like that it's very clear to see that something went terribly wrong here.

With 53 year old Song whose legs of steel have been cycling around these streets for the past 20 years!:

 

American military vehicles:

 

One of the many massacres including that occurred during the war:

Vang Vieng and Vientiane

I saw a poster advertising Laos as the 'Jewel of the Mekong' and I can see why. Laos is a beautiful country, rich with stunning scenery, and it really shines with the welcoming warmth of its lovely people. Sadly its history is as full of bulletholes as the rest of South East Asia's due to the Vietnam war which forced the people of Laos to retreat into jungles and caves as the full force of America's wrath was unleashed on the country. More bombs were dropped on Laos between 1964 and 1973 than were dropped throughout the whole of World War II earning it the unwanted label of the World's most bombed place per capita; around 30% of these bombs remain unexploded leaving a deadly legacy that still plagues the beautiful landscapes.

Vang Vieng is famous for its now almost extinct tubing party scene ... Basically this involved giving a bunch of backpackers rubber rings to float down the river in whilst giving them access to all sorts of drugs and alcohol as well as some zip lines and ropes to jump in the water with. Sounds great on paper, but after causing up to 40 tourist deaths per year the whole thing was promptly put to an end a couple of years ago at the request of the Australian government. Well, I say it sounds great - that depends what you are into. Personally I had an brilliant experience floating down this beautiful valley having drunk nothing but a beer which we bought at the beautiful home of some locals who literally fished us out of the water. The lack of party people was in my opinion a great improvement judging from my quick YouTube review of what it was like back in its 'prime' - I guess I'm just showing my age here though! Our float down the river wasn't completely uneventful however, after staring at a huge fluorescent sign telling me to 'STOP TUBING HERE' I somehow managed to miss the river bank completely and float right past helplessly waving at Cata who thought she'd have to come and collect me in Cambodia somewhere. A local man in a boat sailed right past me as I was frantically splashing about across the current and helpfully pointed out that I should have got off the river by now - yes, thank you, I'm fully aware actually. Had i been drunk I probably would have ended up somewhere in Cambodia but where I actually ended up was trying to clumsily clamber up a wooden platform with my leg above my head and a rubber ring around my waist before giving up on that failed strategy and finally managing to grab on to some grass and toss myself on to a muddy knoll much to the bemusement of an onlooker - such a  smooth sailor.  Thankfully there's no photographic evidence of the above so forget what you just read because it never actually happened...

While in Vang Vieng I was also reunited with a friend that I'd met in Borneo and his mate and had an awesome night out dancing the night away with good people at the local nightclubs. To shake off the hangover, we visited some more waterfalls and the beautiful blue lagoon which was good fun despite the incessant rain.

Drinking beer after being fished out of the river:

"Just a bunch of fffff*kin' mates,aye":

More waterfalls:

The blue lagoon:

Can someone explain to me exactly what this man thinks that these arm bands are going to achieve?:

Our last stop was Vientiane which I believe is the most relaxed capital city in the World. I had the most amazing traditional Laos massage which basically consisted of a woman attempting to squeeze the life out of me with her bare hands - painful yet very relaxing. Had another great night out with newfound friends which resulted in the need for this breakfast:

Yum. Kop chai lai lai Laos! It has been an absolute pleasure.