Ha Noi and Halong

From the most relaxed capital city in South East Asia we dived right into hectic Ha Noi... By European standards it's totally insane ... By Asian standards, on a scale of 1 to India it hits about a 5, hovering just below Bangkok. Still, it took a bit of time to adjust to all the hustle and bustle after laid back Laos, but once we did the city managed to win me over. Drinking beer on the street sat on little plastic stools with street vendors, tuk tuk drivers, mopeds and cars whizzing past makes for a good experience and the countless little alleyways packed with quirky little bars, restaurants and cafes blaring everything from techno to pop to live lounge music give this city an infectious charm. 

The lake in Ha Noi:

Beers on the street:

However what has really impressed me about Vietnam so far is the beautiful, beautiful food - these people know how to eat! Everything from the Banh Mi (Vietnamese baguettes) and coconut filled pastries you can get on the street to the delicate white rose dumplings and delicious coconut curries. Not to mention my favourite, the fresh spring rolls. Enjoy my Halong Bay bikini pics because at the rate I'm eating in this country my next posts are going to be typed up by some pretty chubby fingers!

I'm not too sure what can be said about Halong Bay other than its status as one of the natural wonders of the World is well deserved in my humble opinion. We did a 2 day boat cruise where we got to spend one magical night sleeping between these beautiful limestone mounds under the light of a full moon ... Along with the rest of the World admittedly, but honestly it didn't really matter, in fact the sight of all the boats at night lighting up the bay was beautiful in itself. The myth behind the bay (literal translations is 'descending dragon bay') is that when enemies were attacking the area, the gods summoned a dragon who breathed a wall of jewels around the area, in the meantime the almost 2000 limestone islands we see today sprung up in the way of attacking ships. Apparently the dragon liked the area so much that she stuck around and still lurks there to this day. The eerie atmosphere of the place can almost make you believe it - there is something about being there that makes you want to stick a parrot on your shoulder and hobble around shouting 'arggg matey' at everyone. Maybe that's just me? Never mind...

Halong Bay - so good it deserves a collage:

With our fellow passengers:

Twinkle twinkle:

Key info: Booking a Halong Bay cruise can be a little daunting with the thousands of options available. We finally went with the relatively budget option of Carnival Cruises and they were great. Apparently the cheapest: gold or white pearl are terrible.

Vang Vieng and Vientiane

I saw a poster advertising Laos as the 'Jewel of the Mekong' and I can see why. Laos is a beautiful country, rich with stunning scenery, and it really shines with the welcoming warmth of its lovely people. Sadly its history is as full of bulletholes as the rest of South East Asia's due to the Vietnam war which forced the people of Laos to retreat into jungles and caves as the full force of America's wrath was unleashed on the country. More bombs were dropped on Laos between 1964 and 1973 than were dropped throughout the whole of World War II earning it the unwanted label of the World's most bombed place per capita; around 30% of these bombs remain unexploded leaving a deadly legacy that still plagues the beautiful landscapes.

Vang Vieng is famous for its now almost extinct tubing party scene ... Basically this involved giving a bunch of backpackers rubber rings to float down the river in whilst giving them access to all sorts of drugs and alcohol as well as some zip lines and ropes to jump in the water with. Sounds great on paper, but after causing up to 40 tourist deaths per year the whole thing was promptly put to an end a couple of years ago at the request of the Australian government. Well, I say it sounds great - that depends what you are into. Personally I had an brilliant experience floating down this beautiful valley having drunk nothing but a beer which we bought at the beautiful home of some locals who literally fished us out of the water. The lack of party people was in my opinion a great improvement judging from my quick YouTube review of what it was like back in its 'prime' - I guess I'm just showing my age here though! Our float down the river wasn't completely uneventful however, after staring at a huge fluorescent sign telling me to 'STOP TUBING HERE' I somehow managed to miss the river bank completely and float right past helplessly waving at Cata who thought she'd have to come and collect me in Cambodia somewhere. A local man in a boat sailed right past me as I was frantically splashing about across the current and helpfully pointed out that I should have got off the river by now - yes, thank you, I'm fully aware actually. Had i been drunk I probably would have ended up somewhere in Cambodia but where I actually ended up was trying to clumsily clamber up a wooden platform with my leg above my head and a rubber ring around my waist before giving up on that failed strategy and finally managing to grab on to some grass and toss myself on to a muddy knoll much to the bemusement of an onlooker - such a  smooth sailor.  Thankfully there's no photographic evidence of the above so forget what you just read because it never actually happened...

While in Vang Vieng I was also reunited with a friend that I'd met in Borneo and his mate and had an awesome night out dancing the night away with good people at the local nightclubs. To shake off the hangover, we visited some more waterfalls and the beautiful blue lagoon which was good fun despite the incessant rain.

Drinking beer after being fished out of the river:

"Just a bunch of fffff*kin' mates,aye":

More waterfalls:

The blue lagoon:

Can someone explain to me exactly what this man thinks that these arm bands are going to achieve?:

Our last stop was Vientiane which I believe is the most relaxed capital city in the World. I had the most amazing traditional Laos massage which basically consisted of a woman attempting to squeeze the life out of me with her bare hands - painful yet very relaxing. Had another great night out with newfound friends which resulted in the need for this breakfast:

Yum. Kop chai lai lai Laos! It has been an absolute pleasure.